Battling the Burnout, and Some Updates
May is here! It has been very rainy where I live, but there has also been some glorious weather. I am writing this from the Highlights Foundation campus in Pennsylvania, where I am co-teaching a working retreat for novelists and graphic novelists. I got here well ahead of our students, who arrived on Sunday, so I have been keeping busy, working and preparing in a variety of settings from the bright loft in the barn to my cozy farmhouse room to a deck surrounded by sunshine, birdsong, and the sound of the stream gurgling gently through the trees. It’s so nice to get away from my desk and back into nature. I’m “touching grass,” as the youths say!
I’m starting to realize just how burnt out I am. The pace at which I have been working since getting my first book deal in 2016 is beginning to feel unsustainable. I have released a new book every year since then (this fall, there will be two), and the Sisyphean momentum of that — along with the nonstop, maddening seesaw of “Something amazing just happened! I’m on top of the world!” followed by the inevitable “Something not so great just happened. I am a failure,” over and over and over again — has kept me somewhat distracted from feeling the exhaustion. But after almost ten years in this career, with contract after contract after contract… it’s finally hitting me.
I am a very intense person by nature. It is impossible for me to love anyone or anything halfway. I’m always all in, and while that can be an asset, it’s unhealthy to laser focus in on only one aspect of life! I have realized that wearing different hats is not only good for us, but it is necessary. What they don’t tell you about a dream coming true is that it won’t complete you. Every single piece of your existence won’t suddenly and magically fall into place. You may go about your day with more joy, more fulfillment, and more clarity, as I certainly have and I am so deeply grateful for that. But as I grow older, I’m starting to see that life is just a perpetual work-in-progress. No one’s got it all figured out. No one’s got everything at any one point on the timeline. There will always be peaks and valleys, always the need for introspection and figuring out new hopes and dreams.
I think I just really need to breathe for a bit. I need to sit in this pocket of my life and settle in and reiterate to my own anxious, racing mind that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to step away and find other pursuits if I need to. I am still a writer even if I’m not writing every minute. I am still a creator and an artist and a person who is worthy, lucky, and enough, even if I’m not immediately jumping into the next project, and the next, and the next. There’s a danger in so wholly conflating my core identity with being a “hard worker.” I am seeing a therapist and taking steps to be better about this!
Asking myself “What next?” and admitting “I don’t know” is very uncomfortable for me. But I’m allowing myself to feel the excitement of that, too, and to be okay with not having an answer right away. I am sure I will figure it out.
What I do know is that I will never stop writing. But if I ever decide to step away to find some breathing room, please know that I will freeze all paid Substack subscriber accounts so that you guys aren’t having to pay anything during my time off — and I will give you plenty of notice!
For now, I’m still here. Still writing. And I have a few updates for you.
Writing Updates
TEAM CHU AND THE WILD GHOST CHASE has been finalized! I turned in the final round of pass pages, all minor edits and loose ends have been tied, and the book jacket is complete with blurbs from some truly wonderful and generous authors. I am excited to see this book in its final hardcover form! It comes out on September 10, which is perfect for the lead-up to Halloween. I reread the book when I was going through this latest round of edits and I laughed just as much as I did when I was first drafting it. It’s so much fun and I hope it finds some Halloween-loving readers out there!
NOW COMES THE MIST is also nearing completion. My copyeditor, Mindy, gave me the compliment of a lifetime when she sent the manuscript back and told me that it was the cleanest book she had ever seen! Now, I’m waiting for the first pass pages to come back. Once I approve that version, Podium will begin recording the audiobook, which I just know is going to be beautiful. Early copies of MIST are starting to make the rounds, which means I’m going to be shutting my eyes and ears and letting the reviewers own the book and make of it whatever they will. I am confident that it will reach the readers for whom it was meant. I’ve done everything I could, and now it’s up to the story to find its own way!
The sequel will be my focus for the summer. I’ve had to pick it up and put it back down constantly over the past few months because of Team Chu and MIST taking turns reappearing in my inbox and needing my attention, but right now I have about 40K words drafted. It’s coming along! It’s got a beautiful title that goes well with NOW COMES THE MIST — I just need the green light from my publisher. This book has an enemies-to-friends arc that I’m finding is both a joy and a challenge. I think this type of relationship is much harder to write than enemies-to-lovers because there is no romantic propulsion to help it along, but I am having a lot of fun figuring it out.
New ideas. So many new ideas. I keep a running list of stories I want to write in the Notes app on my phone, though none of them are really jumping out at me at the moment. Usually, in the past, there’s at least one that screams to be written (and there are a handful that I feel more excited about than others). Maybe it’s that burnout and exhaustion I was talking about earlier, and that’s okay. I will keep collecting ideas as they strike me and save them for a rainy day.
Authors Unbound
I have been contemplating signing with a booking agency for years now as a way to find more speaking engagements and get some professional assistance with negotiating contracts, handling logistics, and dealing with the ever-uncomfortable (at least, uncomfortable for me) topic of compensation. After calling and emailing around, getting referrals and testimonials from peers and chatting with several agency owners, I’m happy to announce that I’ve signed on to be a client of Authors Out Loud, the kidlit arm of Authors Unbound!
If you are a teacher, librarian, bookseller, or organizer of a literary event or festival, I would love to come and share my considerable knowledge and expertise of the craft and the industry. Over the past decade, I have done school visits, bookstore talks, and workshops for audiences ranging from elementary school students to adults.
You can view my speaking profile here and request a presentation, both in-person and/or virtual!
What I’ve Been Reading and Watching
The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen: I listened to this adult thriller on audiobook and enjoyed it a lot! I’m rarely thrown by a plot twist, but this one got me. I think I binge-listened to the last half of the book in one day.
The Art Thief by Michael Finkel: I listened to this non-fiction true crime narrative on audiobook. It’s about a so-called art connoisseur with delusions of grandeur who carries out hundreds of successful museum heists over the span of a decade. It was an interesting read, though I disliked the sympathetic tone with which the author portrayed this ultra privileged white criminal.
Escaping Mr. Rochester by L.L. McKinney: This young adult sapphic remix of Jane Eyre was a lot of fun! I like retellings that feel fresh and new (and have read far too many that simply tread over the same tired ground, just with different words) and this one felt both interesting and original.
How To Sell A Haunted House by Grady Hendrix: I enjoyed this author’s story about a haunted IKEA (Horrorstör) and ended up liking this novel even more, even though I am terrified of haunted dolls and puppets! It was a great exploration of grief and generational trauma.
The Fall Guy: I just went to see this in theaters, as a big fan of Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt. It’s about a failed stuntman who has to uncover a conspiracy that might threaten his ex-girlfriend’s film. Was it the best movie I’ve ever seen? No. Did I laugh a lot throughout? Yes!
Ripley: This adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley is on Netflix and it stars Andrew Scott, who I love and who can play unsettling characters so well. It follows the book beat for beat and I know some people found it to be too slow, but I adore slow-burn dread — that encroaching, claustrophobic build-up of the inevitable. I did like the movie adaptation from the 90s (with Matt Damon and Gwyneth Paltrow), but this was great because it zooms in so closely on Tom Ripley’s character.
Until next time!
TEAM CHU AND THE WILD GHOST CHASE is available for preorder in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook! This middle-grade Halloween adventure is not too scary and will be perfect for readers who love ghosts, carnivals, and cats wearing costumes. It comes out September 10.
NOW COMES THE MIST is available for preorder in paperback, ebook, and audiobook, so if you’re in the market for a sexy dark adult retelling of Dracula from the women’s perspective, check it out! Please note that the galley will NOT be available on Edelweiss or NetGalley. The book publishes on October 1!
Thank you for your support, and I hope you all enjoy the rest of spring! Happy writing and reading!